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| Image by melancholiaphotography from Pixabay |
I’m feeling heart broken over an injury in my neck my husband gave me when I was, so, so, many years ago. Pictures of X-rays and knowing the truth of what I went through I can’t ignore anymore. The injuries come to me in physical feelings and ailments I can’t ignore. I don’t know what I did to make my ex-husband be so unkind to me. I did everything for him. Pleased every wish he wanted. To handle me that way…. Picking me up with 2 hands by my neck and landing me on the bed after I questioned where he was for so long anxious at the fact he would come home so late after dinner. I was home and alone then a lot because he didn’t want me working at a hospital that I was working at. I worked so hard to get the job and was so proud of myself. I was only 20 and hadn’t had any work success. It was only part time but still 30 hours and a wonderful stepping stone to a full time job with good money and benefits. I was already making more than twice an hour from my last job. I now feel the long term effects of an injury that connects my neck to my brain stem: fighting off dysautonomia and other related conditions that come so ma y years later. No one has to tell me. I’m smart. I watch, I listen, I hear. I research. We know deep down inside of us, this is us. The cracking in my neck I’ll never forget, as my brain faded away…. on that day. Into waitressing, druggings, attempted human trafficking, more abuse, after abuse, after abuse… what did I do? I may as well face, this is what they do to you during domestic violence. :(
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